MY FRiENDS && i .x

♥ COPYRIGHT Kyndsie Arkright

listen to my whisper
its telling you how I feel
I’ll listen to my heart
it says that this is all not real

that you
will never know that I’m alive
and you
will never know how hard I strive
just for you
to hold me tight for just one night
and you
to know that I’m alive

remember how I looked at you
I don’t know how it’s not clear
that all the feelings and my whole heart
is living in the fear

that you won’t ever see me
how I see you everyday
the perfect set of eyes and lips
that I one day want to kiss

but now it’s just about the time
that I can’t help but give up
don’t worry about loving me
or how I look distraught
 
because you
will never know that I’m alive
and you
will never know how hard I strived
just for you
to hold me tight for just one night
and you
to know that I’m alive.

Please don’t look at me
I don’t want you to remember
the way I look in this coffin

Please look away
I’m begging you
I don’t want you to stay
 
the tears I see upon your face
I never wanted to see you this way

I see you whisper in my ear
and I start to understand
that you knew the me down deep inside
that I was trying to hide
 
I followed you home
even though you didn’t know
and when you fell down to the floor
I ran to hold your hand

you
you knew that I was alive
and you
felt just how I felt inside
and now you
can hold me tight every night
because now you and I are both alive.

♥ COPYRIGHT Kyndsie Arkright

She watched him walk away and knew that nothing would ever be the same. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak … she just watched. He knew that she was watching her and he felt his heart break into a thousand pieces  and a tear roll down his cheek. She called after him but he continued to walk; she called again and he wiped his face. He heard her running up behind him and as he turned around he dropped all of his bags just as she jumped into his arms. He held her tight letting her tears from the sobs drench his jacket. He didn’t want her to see him cry; he would save that for the bus ride. “I’ll be back” he whispered into her hair, trying to sound as convincing as possible yet knowing the promise may not be kept. “I love you.” She let go and ran back to the car not looking at him get on the bus. She carressed her stomach where his child was growing, knowing that he or she may be the only thing left of him she will ever have. Starting to cry again she started the engine, and in the rear view mirror she saw his face through the window. He was starring at the car, and then he turned away. At that moment she started to pray, asking God to give her the strength to get through this and for her husbands safety. It felt like only moments had passed when she arrived home, she checked the mail and found an envelope with her name on it. She took it inside and placed the rest of the mail on the table. Inside that envelope was another envelope with “Baby” written on it. She unfolded the letter that was in her envelope, she noticed the #1 written at the top. She started to read:

“Jenny,

      I know that this is going to be extremely hard for you, but I want you to know that I will always be right here with you. When we got married I told you that you will forever have my whole heart, and I don’t want it back. That promise still holds to this day. I will always love you and the baby, and no matter what happens to me I want you to move on with your life. Take care of our child and yourself, its your duty now to take care of you two, just as it is mine to serve the country that you live in. I want you to forever be taken care of and to never worry about me. If you start to feel sad because i’m not around physically, remember that I am here with you in your heart. I wrote the baby a letter, I want you to give it to him or her when she’s old enough to understand.  Never forget me Beautiful, no matter what happens. I love you. “

By that time she was sitting on the floor sobbing, she pulled out the envelope with the baby’s letter and found a silver necklace in the bottom of her envelope. The pendent was a circle, and inside that circle it was engraved ” I give you my heart.” Jenny took the baby’s letter to the nursery and placed it on the dresser.

5 months later Jenny went into labor, they’d agreed to wait on the sex of the baby until it was born. Before Johnny had been deployed they chose two names, one for a boy and one for a girl. Jenny’s mother had been trying to get ahold of Johnny the entire time that Jenny was in labor. When she finally got through to someone they told her that Johnny had been in the hospital. He told her mother that there had been an infection from non-treatment and that he was found in one of the houses trying to protect a baby. Her mother got off of the phone and by the time she got back into the hospital the baby had been born. It was a little boy and she named him “Johnathon Heart”. Jenny’s mother kept quiet about Johnny , saying she was still unable to reach him.

A few days had passed and Jenny recieved a phone call at the hospital. “Hello?” she answered hoping it was him. “I’m coming home” he replied. Jenny started to cry and said “When will you be here?” At that time he walked into the hospital room, Jenny smiled as he walked over and kissed her. Jenny handed the baby to Johnny and said “His name is Johnathon Heart Hutchins.” Johnny smiled and said “I thought we agreed on Adam?” She replied “I wanted to always have you with me.”

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